So Different in My Head

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Yesterday you asked me how i was?
Like i could be any better than the day before or the day when you decided to move on,
You left, enslaving my soul,
I told you i don’t want love,
Yet you gave it,
Gave it every time,
Until i finally fell,
Fell in that hole you been digging all this while.
You buried my heart in that pit of pain,
Chocking me with your words,
And then as you realized i will be gone forever,
You came back!
You came back to ask me how am i doing?
No you actually wanted to know if it is the time to finally put that stone on my grave where you can put all the good things i was not,
Or may be that was exactly who i was,
But you ruined me,
You ruined me and trapped me into these walls.
Now here i am sitting,
Still thinking of every possibility of how it could have worked,
How it might have been the best thing that happened to me,
But these thoughts infuriates me even more,
I hate myself for still seeking refuge in those arms who enslaved my spirit.
But then again i still don’t hate you!
Coz i love you, I have always loved you.
And may be I won’t ever be able to change this.
I still sit here looking at all those stars in the sky trying to win me over,
But I still adore the moon and I can’t help it.
We all have our secrets and i am still glad mine is you!
I hope one day i can meet you again and genuinely smile and wish u a bright future without wanting to be a part of it.