Blurry Lines

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Its just blurry lines
No sense of wrong and right
Everything is a pretense
Just enraged voices in my head,
Remnants of a distant past.
Silenced with lies.

Galaxies are made up truths
A definition of infinite,
Infiltrated with the shadows of life.
Or just another word for the light that flickr,
As your soul burns with limitless effort.

When u don’t have best of life
All u wanna do is hide n die.
Every desire turned to dust
Waiting for time to run its course.
There is nothing more poisonous than remorse.

Damaged by demons we can’t escape
Irreparable wounds rooted in veins.
Random fragments of memories laced with regrets,
Scattered in bloodstream hard to accept. 

The ink splatters in yellow space.
Also trying to find their place.
The greatest beauty wrapped in grey,
Disguised in something unwanted.

Questioning one’s existence,
Faithless in this stride
Choking on your dreams,
Wicked in everyone’s eyes.

But darling wherever you go,
It’ll take a lot of love to hate this life.

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Numb

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I feel nothing,
No sadness,
No joy,
I am numb,
astray,
Losing more of myself  everyday,
Too weak,
Thinking about dying,
Leaving everyone else behind,
Destroying,
Stealing their peace of mind!
And still,
I am afraid,
Of what others might think of me,
When I am gone,
Shredded,
Soul long lost.
I am a coward,
Or just a child,
Made to grow up,
As numbers are right.
Don’t know how long,
I’ll survive,
But I’ll wait and see,
If it’s really worth my while.

Drowning

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I am not scared that I am not myself,
I am scared that I am,
a little too much,
My thoughts are now
Rusty frames of memories,
And worthless pieces of puzzle,
Lying scattered,
Unarranged, unwanted, unwilling,
Too dark for any amount of white,
To turn them into grey.
I know of my demons,
A little too well.
They are
Too powerful a dancer,
Running all around in my mind,
Giving a performance of a lifetime.
Thoughts too unreasonable to say out loud,
Thank god i am too good at lying,
If only they could find,
What parts of me are real and true,
and what are more refined but a lie.
A warrior i am,
Of darkness and all that is wrong with this world,
From insecurities to lies,
And world of cries,
Come watch me drown,
Every inch of my skin is deep in sorrow,
And remorse,
I am grieving for who i was yesterday,
I don’t have the energy to bear it anymore,
But i will.
That’s how i survive,
If only i could live a little while.
And not just exist.
I hate myself too much to stay alive,
But i love myself enough to not end it yet.
This is when i tell myself i can handle this,
I am strong.
And that’s how it all turns out right,
When i don’t even know what tomorrow might be like,
But then who does?

Come on old friend!

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Hello there old friend!
I knew you would come,
I have been waiting for you,
Come let me hold you in my arms,
Let me give you all they never will.

They said you are beautiful?
They lied my friend,
You are a mess,
And no matter how beautifully you arrange your broken pieces,
They are still broken.
Reflecting nothing but sadness.

This rage,
Is not your enemy,
Its a volcano lying dormant,
But guess what, it can still light up!
Let it consume you,
And consume everyone close to you,
For they don’t care about you,
They just long for company!
But you don’t need them right?
So go ahead burn every so called relationship shamelessly!

You love stars right?
But loving them adds nothing to your own importance,
They are just a reminder of how useless is your existence,
in this vast universe of mysteries and miracles,
You are just another damned human,
A mere creature born for nothing.
No matter how good you believe you are,
Its a bad world out there!
People care for no one but themselves.

But my friend I care for you,
You know why?
Because I am you.
I am in your head.
And I and only I is your true friend.

I will make sure no one could ever hurt you!
I will give a strong shield to your heart,
And then you can give them all a dose of their own medicine.
You can outshine them,
Be good at being bad,
You can do a bigger wrong for every wrong done to you.

You can only overcome this pain through a bigger pain,
Trust me, I will never misguide you.
You will never misguide yourself right?
And that’s how I am too,
Afterall you are me and I am you,
I am your dirtiest secrets and your worst fears,
And nothing is a better stimulator than fear.

You are back here now,
So welcome home my good-self!
You can sleep here as long as you want.
Until that light breaks in again,
I’ll suggest you rest.
And I promise,
This time you will have a long goodnight sleep.

Come on now my friend,
Its time for your darkness to take the lead!