Mediocrity

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Another college year has come to end. And again I see people around me getting more and more focused and clear about their future, while I somehow feel stuck! Stuck here! Stuck in a place where everyone is running. Running to catch a train. Running to class. Running home. Running towards people. Running away from people. And in my case running away from life. Yes, that’s how I feel. Living in a place with young people all around. So many dreams lingering on streets. Everyone into something. One could easily spot ‘the intellectual types’, ‘the music band people’, ‘the artists with so many colors embracing their body’, and others you can’t easily spot, just some normal people, people you can’t separate easily from the crowd. The not so happening people. May be I am one of them. Eyes on ground. Nothing on my mind. Eyes full of awe for all that is so beautiful around me. So full of passion and dedication. And then back to me, neither a wannabe, nor someone with something to give all my time to. Is their even a category for us? For those who fit nowhere and everywhere? Neither the geek and still not the coolest. A mediocre. Yes, that’s the term used by most people.
But did they ever wonder what comprise of this mediocre group? A foot in both worlds, yet no world they can call their’s. Isn’t it sad how me and other like me often find ourselves questioning our existence? How we are often asked where we belong and yet we have already been categorized, no room left for us to build our own kingdoms? To set our own standards of perfection? When we start studying, we are expected to perform as per the standards of the ‘intellectual’ category, when we decide to create something new, we are often told about how mediocre our talent is and we can’t ever be the best! And when we decide to leave it all and stop striving and working towards a goal, we often hear complaints and remarks about how we used to be such a nice kid but now have deviated from our paths. We have taken the wrong turn and could have done so much with our lives. But i question how? How can we do something when so much is at stake and no matter how much we work towards something it never seems enough? When someone born with a talent or sharp brain always seem to grab the cookie we had our eyes on! And even if we work throughout our lives most of us always seem to make it only to a certain level. Having that mediocre job, medium family, and if we are lucky we might have sharp kids! One can only hope! But is it because life is unfair or the world and people are?
Not everyone have same circumstances and just like no finger on our hand is of same size, no two people can ever be alike. Each of us is different. We all have our weaknesses. And we all are born for a purpose. And until we find it, we need to do away with this act of categorizing people and judging before knowing them on the basis of their marks, their social groups or their interests. Embrace differences. And while you do this don’t feel alone in this world, because you are unique and you need to keep telling yourself this, unless you discover someone who can actually see your speciality and not your mediocrity, you need to do it for yourself. So keep your head high and believe that you too can achieve your dreams. Don’t be afraid of time running out. Take a time out if you need to, listen to your heart and then come back and work tirelessly towards your goals.  Believe in yourself and set your own standards for no one else can define you better than you.

Echo

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I don’t know what to write,
The pen seems like an old friend,
I have been gone too long,
Sulking more and more everyday,
And now when I am back,
I don’t wish to stain papers with my sadness,
I want every drop of ink,
Every word,
Dripping with happiness,
And beauty,
But I find none,
No fairy tales,
No merry songs of the vagabonds,
I got nothing to offer,
Other than my heart,
Pumping the guilt of every sin,
And every black,
Now mixed with red,
Flowing like poison in my veins,
I want to begin again,
But the ghosts of past seem to have fallen in love with my scent,
The scent of every heartache I ever felt,
And while there is still time to add some words,
None to withdraw one.
Whatever I write is too fragile,
Too imperfect like the echo of my thoughts,
My mistakes and my weaknesses,
All secrets are out now,
And I again find myself wishing,
To take it all back,
And never return.

Stuck

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Today again I woke up,
I should be happy for being alive right?

As
Today,
Again I’ll see those kids going to school,
Wearing matching dresses.
I once asked my mother if she knows what they carry in those little backpacks?
She said they are books.
I wonder what they are about though?
Beautiful pictures, poems or stories?

Today,
I’ll wear a pretty dress.
Mother said her children don’t need them anymore,
Thank god that lady’s children grew up so soon!
However, I wonder if I’ll ever know what it felt like to wear them when they were new?
Nice, good or beautiful?

Today,
My father will again point at buildings and tell me how he built them all.
But I don’t know why he lie all the time.
If they were built by him why don’t they all look alike?
I wonder then why aren’t we living under those lights?

Today,
My sister will again miss her dinner.
She says she is not hungry.
But I didn’t see her eat all day.
I wonder if she is fasting to get her wish?

Today,
Again I’ll run around barefoot.
The street is really hot though.
But everyone in my family walks like that.
I wonder if I only am the sensitive one?

Today,
Again I’ll sleep dreaming of a fairyland,
Beautiful and pretty.
Now you wonder why my dreams sound so normal?
Because dreaming is still free.