Magic In Your Eyes

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You are not the center,
Just a displaced side piece,
You are not a tragedy,
You are what you don’t believe.
You are not the sunshine of today,
But a dark cloud of tomorrow,
You are not a happy ending,
Just about trials and sorrow.
You are not your heart’s cruelty,
But peace and tranquillity,
You are not your wildest fantasy,
But your actions and reality.
You are not what is yet to come,
But what you have overcome.
You are not the soft drizzle,
You are the destroying thunder,
You are not what you have accumulated,
But what you can surrender.
You are not your manipulations,
But about staying true.
You are not who you look upto,
But who is looking upto you.
You are not the plane white or black,
But beautiful textures and colors.
You are not a perfect piece of art,
But those scars and broken parts.
You are not your smile,
But magic shining in your eyes.
You are not the lost hope,
But that final leap of faith,
You are not what you get without asking,
But for what you wait.
You are not the people holding you down,
You are the hands pushing you up,
You are not your flaws and thoughts,
But your quirks and strength,
You are not confidence,
But humbleness at heights,
You are not your truths,
You are the pain behind your lies.
You are not someone’s life’s villain,
But someone who is suffering inside.
You are the one between Chaos and space,
And just like all perfectly imperfect things looking for a place.

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Womanhood- A myth

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We need more men and women who are morally right and not socially right.

Thankyou so much everyone. Got my 50th follower today. *super happy*

So I came across this article about a woman who decided to go bra less in london but not in India. This made me realize how much attention this issue really requires.
Bra is often associated with one’s womanhood. But that really makes me wonder who made it a necessity and why that small piece of clothing needs to be treated as a part of one’s body?
I have often seen girls making fun of someone not wearing one and calling her immature and indecent. When these ‘indecent’ girls were asked about it they tell how they are never comfortable while wearing one and though their mothers force them to wear one they sometime still refuse to wear it.
I have also come across girls who tell about how their own mother made them wear one during their early teenage years and even when they refused in the beginning their mothers forced them and in one case even told her that she(mother) won’t speak to her if she won’t wear it. And although being a rebel in those early years, these girls too now have grown to believe it to be a compulsion. They believe that every women and girl must be forced into wearing one as it is a necessary commodity if one wants to be labelled as decent.
Hearing this coming from girls who otherwise hate all the caste system prevailing in the society, and who boasts of being feminists and ladies with a liberal outlook really troubled my soul. But arey they the only ones maintaining those double standards?
No, its the society, they are just small fishes in a much bigger pond made of such stereotypes and ‘so called liberals’.
This is just one of the many myths and beliefs still prevailing in the society. Not disposing off sanitary napkins without wrapping them in layers of newspapers or polybags as the blood on it is impure and might pollute the environment or not going to any religious place leave alone enter one’s own kitchen are some century old notions and beliefs that need immediate attention.

When we talk about rapes and crimes against women in the society we often forget about these little beliefs and notions that knowingly or unknowingly we are feeding to our daughters and friends. If we really want the condition of women to improve in the society we need to start from our homes.
Stop telling them they are impure, stop telling them they got something to hide, stop restricting them from making their own choices, its their body, teach them to treat it like a temple and stop telling them what they should and shouldn’t do.
Dont set rules for them, let them decide their own boundaries and the way they want to live their lives.

I hope I will be able to change atleast one mind by putting this here.

The Trickster

wpid-http%3a%2f%2f40.media_.tumblr.com%2f936154121ed884d43c7e5bc696c03f63%2ftumblr_n99bdmyelu1swv3fpo6_500.jpgThere is so much i want to be,
And so much i want to do,
For the world outside and the one within,
I want to swim the oceans and make my parents proud,
Or work tirelessly for something unconventional,
Rather than following the crowd.
I want to conquer the world,
Or let the world conquer me,
I want to be it all,
And let it all be me.
Sometimes its hard to decide,
What I really want from life?
A good job and family?
Or a beautiful house and a loving hubby?
Or do i just want to leave it all behind and tread on a path of self exploration,
Working night and day on my soul and mind.
Heart is a trickster i feel,
Betray all my thoughts,
Feelings taking over all future plans and telling me to live the moment.
And still,
Still i worry,
Worry over what future can and cannot be?
What path might really set me free?
What actions will lead to happiness and what might just be another lesson for me?
Life is so hard to understand,
So hard to just stand on the side and watch time take its toll,
But is it wrong to aim for a peaceful soul?
And not for all the riches in the world.
Not for all the things with a price tag and not for that golden bag?
If something is meant to be just let it be,
Accept it or fight for what you believe,
And when it gets hard and all good memories go blur,
call it a test and make sure to pass it with flying colors.

Mother

She thought she will hate the rain forever for it took away the first love of her life, little did she know this rain will be the reason she could be the first love of those tiny feet and little hands she now call her life.

Something for mother’s day. A mother’s love is the purest form of love and when it forgets all prejudices and overlooks the fact if the child is blood related, it becomes something sacred and heavenly. 🙂

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A drawing I made almost 5 years back. 🙂

Connecting

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I have been here for a while now. One thing i have realized recently is how easy it is to put down your feelings down here and let the world know what you are thinking or on what stage of life you are right now. But what makes it so easy to Post something so personal here while when it comes down to sharing it or confiding it in a friend it gets so hard. Is it the false sense of security that we get while posting here that everyone or most people here are anonymous and others who are known might even consider it just a normal write up and not one’s true feelings.
But still the point is why it has become so easy to express knowing you won’t be found out while showing emotions and sensitivity is so difficult in real world. The reasons i could come up with are:
1) May be the world has become a cruel place where if anyone shows emotions or even a little sensitivity, it is seen as a sign of weakness. People put up strong face just so no one consider them weak and try taking their advantage. Also their fear of being misunderstood stops them from being true to others as well as themselves. They are judged and sometimes even bullied. Everyone today has gone so mad over perfection and one’s outer appearance that one’s thoughts and beauty of mind is often ignored or given less attention than it deserve. Such behavior tend to make those ‘real’ people go fake and a need to be ‘part of the crowd’ forces them to follow the common norm. While doing so they tend to lose their ‘individuality’ and ‘creativity’ and when they finally find a place where they can finally leave out a sigh of relief and put forward what they really believe, it gives them a sense of security and a place to vent out their long hidden emotions and insecurities.

2) We are living in a make believe world and everyone is so busy with their own lives and they have so many problems of their own to deal with that they have little or no time for someone else’s problems or i should rather put it as “someone’s drama.” In such busy life these social platforms give an option to have a quick peek in someone else’s life and the human need to ‘stay connected’ tends to take over the actual connections one have with family and friends.

3) Even when we are depressed we as social beings get attracted to other troubled souls and try to find peace in the knowledge of not being alone. We don’t want any burdens or responsibilities that come with trying to bond with friends or family. We just want someone we can relate to and feel connected while at the same time there is no compulsion to try and interact or carry out any of those so called “social duties.”  And blogs and other social networking websites seem to cater to all those social and emotional needs.

But whatever it is we all do it, a hunt for people and place where we feel like ourselves, where our shoulders are not burdened with any of the responsibilities or those well established social norms.

Lost Cause

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We are the lost cause,
The generation that is always wrong,
The world around is falling apart,
But the soul still trying to stand strong.

Feelings erased leaving our hearts weightless,
Not having the courage to confess.
Drunk on the concept of love,
Drowning in the darkness,
Desperately trying to keep the head above.

All secrets oozing out from the windows to our soul,
Trying to escape the world ignoring every call.
And then throwing down the cups of fire down the throat.

Burning every ounce of feeling still left behind,
Trying to shut our ghastly minds.
Smoking our days away,
Refusing to eat to please someone,
Who won’t even matter oneday.

Everything we touch falls apart,
Making us question everything we did from the start.
We are the generation parents warn their children about,
Little did they know we too were those kids someday.

But,
Who threw us there in the first place?
Our own thoughts,
Our own minds,
Our ignorance of everything bright.
Its easy to be sad,
To not do anything,
To accept other’s opinion of us,
But whats hard is to pick ourselves up,
To challenge the odds.

Its not the world,
Its not the time,
If we want to blame anyone,
We must blame our own mind.
We might be forgiven on the judgment day,
But isn’t it too early to give up on recovery today?

Safe Haven

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Today I am heading back to that place. The place I hate so much. Home is the place where i want to be. Because it makes me feel safe. It makes me feel  wanted. Its comfortable and predictable. But shouldn’t these be the reasons to not stay at home?
To experience the challenge and to live the unexpected. Change is inevitable. No change is bad, its either predictable or not predictable. At the end of day its our own decision to go with the flow or to challenge the inevitable. What’s even more important is to not to be afraid. To stand strong and face whatever life throws our way. Every time i go someplace new i begin hating it. Maybe because i leave a piece of my soul behind. It takes time to finally accept that empty space, a piece missing from a beautiful puzzle. But With time i realize that its not the center piece and i can still make out the picture, though it is never perfect. But why really aim for perfection. Isn’t this imperfection a sign of having survived the change. Home is not a place but a feeling. And until one knows there are people he/she can be themselves with they can be at home. A 2 minute call in a day is enough to know someone out there is waiting for me to return home. And the best part is to know, I am their home and still they are patient, they are patient for me. Although they miss me, they aren’t selfish or greedy. They are ready to wait. For me. And i know everytime i return its always the same. The feeling of belongingness will never go away. And it is this security that helped me to get over the hate. I have to go. Do something with my life. I must take chances and accept challenges. And although i thought things will never go back the way they were, I know gradually i will learn to accept that the walls of the building might wither, the people might age, the habits might change, but one thing that won’t change is this feeling and belief that even if i am lost love will always guide me home.

Little Drops that went Unnoticed

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RED FORT, DELHI 1-3-2015

Here it’s been raining since morning. At the end of day everyone i talked to I only got to hear complaints complaints and more complaints about how inconvenient it was. There was this scheduled performance by a singer which got canceled, someone’s clothes that he put out for drying got all drenched due to sudden downpour. But amidst all the chaos and disappointment I also learned three great lessons today.
So I thought i should share them here cause these migt be little things but thses little things are all we need sometimes.
1) I learned to be happy. If not cause of a reason of your own then be happy for someone else.
For example when the performance got canceled people got angry for they bought the passes, came all the way and still the rain ruined it all. But then if we try looking at a bigger picture, keeping our personal disappointments aside, this rain would have benefited someone, may be a little bird or a farmer. One can only imagine. Why not be happy for them? Why always look at the negative side? Just try thinking it from a different perspective, try peeking into someone else’s mirror and see how beautiful their reflection is. Try finding a reason to be happy however small.

2) A friend of mine got stuck in rain in the college, the roads were blocked because of traffic jam and exits were closed. He tried calling cabs ready to pay extra money but no one agreed. He felt helpless and disheartened for he once thought money could buy you anything. He learned it the hard way. He had to wait 2 hours in the pouring rain completely drenched and freezing. But he learned when you are victim of the circumstances no amount of money can get you out. You will have to be patient to wait for the right moment, you have to give it your all, until you have exhausted all your options you can’t give up! He always believed that if he can earn enough he can raise his family properly and give his children everything they ask for. They won’t have to restrict themselves for anything. But what he understood today is one’s time is the most precious thing they can give someone. Money will come and go and we will keep on dreaming for something better, better than what we already have because isn’t that what dreaming big is all about? We always expect of our parents a little more than they give us but we never try to think that they already are giving us the best. They are already doing a little more than their capabilities, just for our happiness. Money was made to make life better, life wasn’t made just to earn better, there is so much more to life and there is so much you can’t put a price tag on.

3) Rain always inspire me to do something creative so i picked up my comic again from where i left off and wrote another page. ( I started writing manga sometime back and sketch and paint too) And while i was doing that i got compliment from a girl from another room( I live in a hostel). She told me i draw beautifully. This made me think, think about how i never really learned to draw or took any writing sessions. It all comes naturally to me. Its like a part of being me. I realized how much I underestimate myself when i compare my average qualities with someone’s best quality. I often end up comparing myself with someone who is really good at studies, they don’t even work as hard as i do yet they end up scoring so much. Although i have always been among toppers in school and was admired by many of my friends for having such grades, yet i never managed to understand how some who never really paid as much attention scored equal to me or more than me. But I never before tried to put it this way, ‘that is their best quality’ and i should accept it. I should rather work on my own talents and try making the most out of it. This also reminds me of the quote “If you  judge the fish by its ability to  Climb a Tree, It will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid.”
P.S. -I might be a little biased because I love rain!
P.P.S. -comments and suggestions are most welcomed and I hope I will always remember these lessons.